The five languages of love


Recently I heard about “the five languages of love” so decided to research the theory…

The thought process in the languages of love theory is that people vary in what they need from their partner to make them happy and content in a relationship. The five options or “languages” are listed as:

  • words of affirmation
  • acts of service
  • receiving gifts
  • quality time
  • physical touch



Simply put, if you want to be in a successful relationship, you have to know what your partner’s love language is and make sure your partner knows what your love language is, especially if they differ.  Since both people in a relationship can come from different upbringings, backgrounds, cultures etc, their individual love languages will often be different.  Acknowledging that your partner has a different love language than  you do appears to be the first step towards a successful relationship.

I would imagine that some people are content with just one language of love while others need more than one.  That’s where it might get tricky as your job in the successful relationship is to provide what your partner needs.   Some people are needier than others and needs do change throughout life. Be aware of changing needs on both sides and be prepared to adjust accordingly.  Frequent re-evaluation is highly recommended.

Do your homework.  Find out what your partner’s language of love is.  Make sure they know what yours is.  Be sure to ask them theirs and tell them yours so there is no room for misunderstanding.  Do not assume you know theirs or they know yours….


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5 thoughts on “The five languages of love

  1. Hey LorieB,
    I’m wondering if you have a link, post, book, podcast etc from your research that you found particularly helpful in your understanding of this theory. I don’t want to recreate the wheel if you’re willing to share. I’m a former therapist with Psychology and Communication Degrees and I’d love to see how this matched up with some other material out there… like Men/mars women/venus etc.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. Interesting post Lorie! Relationships are complicated and there’s no formula for success I believe… But knowing each other’s wishes and dreams and wants is the most basic of all requirements… The link in the previous comment was an interesting read too…

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