Can you be an orphan at forty-six?

Can you be considered an orphan at forty-six years of age?  I always said (still do) that when your second parent passes away you feel like an orphan. Not to diminish the pain that children who lose their parents at a young age must feel, because that is truly horrible, but I can attest to the fact that there is still pain to be felt at forty-six and counting.

My father passed away eleven years ago today and my mother twelve years prior to that. Today I am reminded by the calendar, other days a picture on social media, a commercial on TV, a precious smile from their newest great-grandson, or even something I see that I know one or both of them would love or hate.  Yesterday I ran into a friend who is planning an 80th birthday party for her mother.  Although I am happy for her and her mom, I could not help but feel a pang of envy and longing  I miss them both so much….

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I grew up in Cornwall, Ontario a small city not far from Ottawa.  Now that my parents and most of their siblings have passed on, and most of my own siblings have moved far away, I feel that my connections or roots are slipping away, especially in the Cornwall area.

If you are lucky enough to have one or both parents alive, give them a hug or a phone call to show you appreciate their presence in your life.  Trust me, you will miss them when you no longer have that opportunity!

Anger, laughter and your immune system

 

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It has been said that one minute of anger weakens your immune system for four to five hours, while one minute of laughter boosts your immune system for over twenty-four hours.   I’ve read these statements several different places recently; I believe scientists are on to something.

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Think about it for a minute.  When something or someone angers you, your blood pressure rises, your heart races, and you get a sick feeling in your stomach.  I know I do.  But did you realize that the sick feeling you get can manifest into something more sinister if it persists?  The sick feeling spreads throughout your body, causing stress on all of your organs.  It has been scientifically proven that stress has been linked to many health conditions and disease states.

Conversely, after a good laugh, you feel great and stress or tension is relieved, improving your mood, your outlook, and even your physical appearance!  I posted an article about the scientific benefits of laughter a while back.  Yesterday, when chatting with a dear friend,  I was reminded how anger can cause stress; inspiration for today’s post.

If you find yourself in any relationship that evokes prolonged and unresolvable anger, angst, tension, stress, or sadness, move on and let it go before you cause any permanent damage to your health!

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Diaper shower

Have you ever heard of a diaper shower?   Since Dads are much more involved in their childrens’ lives these days, a diaper shower is a modern, male version of a baby shower, to help the men celebrate their “dad to be” status.  What an awesome idea!

My eldest son organized such a diaper shower recently for his brother to celebrate our excitement to be expecting a new addition to our family.  Did I mention I am going to be a grandmother for the first time?

The event was a pool (billiards) tournament with a box of diapers as the price of admission.  My job was to collect and deliver the mountain of diapers to their new home…

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Daughter from another mother

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I am devastated this week after hearing of the sudden and unexpected death of a dear friend.  The initial shock is fading, but I am still having difficulty believing that she is gone from my life.

Although she started out as a client in my gardening business, ….. Continue reading

Learn how to yield is the best marriage advice

For some reason, many of the blog posts I have been reading lately are about marriage and how to make it work.  Although I am not officially qualified to counsel people on their marriages, I have lots of experience on the subject.  I will have been married (to the same man) for 32 years this coming May, so although I have a few pieces of advice on the subject, my best advice is stolen from a man of few words…

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Years ago, on the occasion of his 60th wedding anniversary, my grandfather offered these simple words of wisdom to family and friends gathered for the celebration: “you have to learn how to yield.”   My husband was present at that celebration, although we were not yet married, so heard the same words of advice. Thirty-two years into our own marriage, those words of advice have served us well.

When two individuals that were raised under different circumstances try to merge their lives without learning how to yield, disastrous results can occur.  Think of two vehicles on a road; when they try to merge together, one has to yield to the other.  If they don’t an accident happens and no one is happy.

Unlike vehicle drivers on the road that must adhere to traffic signs to avoid conflict, there are no such signs to prevent conflict in a marriage.  The trick in marriages is that you have to learn and decide what you are willing to yield to.  Both individuals must acknowledge the need to yield or compromise.  Viewpoints on religion, having and raising children, finances, education, careers, and even household decor are only a few subjects where opinions can differ between two individuals in a marriage.

Learning to yield or compromise is the key to success at merging different viewpoints into a lifestyle that works best for the two people in the relationship.

Cheers to yielding!

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The five languages of love

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Recently I heard about “the five languages of love” so decided to research the theory…

The thought process in the languages of love theory is that people vary in what they need from their partner to make them happy and content in a relationship. The five options or “languages” are listed as:

  • words of affirmation
  • acts of service
  • receiving gifts
  • quality time
  • physical touch

 

 

Simply put, if you want to be in a successful relationship, you have to know what your partner’s love language is and make sure your partner knows what your love language is, especially if they differ.  Since both people in a relationship can come from different upbringings, backgrounds, cultures etc, their individual love languages will often be different.  Acknowledging that your partner has a different love language than  you do appears to be the first step towards a successful relationship.

I would imagine that some people are content with just one language of love while others need more than one.  That’s where it might get tricky as your job in the successful relationship is to provide what your partner needs.   Some people are needier than others and needs do change throughout life. Be aware of changing needs on both sides and be prepared to adjust accordingly.  Frequent re-evaluation is highly recommended.

Do your homework.  Find out what your partner’s language of love is.  Make sure they know what yours is.  Be sure to ask them theirs and tell them yours so there is no room for misunderstanding.  Do not assume you know theirs or they know yours….

 

Please be sure to visit my other blogs:

Laugh out loud (LOL) with me at YOUR DAILY CHUCKLE

and

be inspired and motivated by famous words of wisdom at WoW

My gardening website can be viewed at www.gardens4u.ca

The versatile blogger award

 

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I was recently nominated for the versatile blogger award by Inny97blog   Please check out their blog for further details.

I have been nominated for this particular award before, about a year ago, and although appreciative of the compliment, I do not like the format of these awards.  For the reasons outlined in this previous post, I will not repeat the motions of nominating others, or answering questions about myself.

I much prefer to read blogs as I find them, commenting on their content as I go.  If I enjoy the way a particular blogger writes, I will take the time to read their “about” page to dig a little deeper into their background.

If you wish to learn more about me, take the time to read my “about” page and check out my posts.

 

Please be sure to visit my other blogs:

Laugh out loud (LOL) with me at YOUR DAILY CHUCKLE

and

be inspired and motivated by famous words of wisdom at WoW

My gardening website can be viewed at www.gardens4u.ca